scar(let)

Here I am, in my room after another stressful day at school, after another day of feeling worthless and judged by everyone. Maybe it's all in my head.. “Well what if it isn't all in my head? What if everyone truly judges me and hates me? What if I'm not worth the life I'm living?” I try to keep these thoughts away from my head but I can't, I simply can't... They're too strong to be ignored. I rush my hand to the drawer where I keep my personal things, desperately looking for relief. I pick the raisor and without a second thought I press it in my skin and slowly and painfully slide it. In those two seconds of emptiness my head is full of remorseful thoughts ..”I shouldn't have done it”, “I'm such a freak”,”What's wrong with me?”  My anxiety is pomping and my wrist is stinging. And then, a small scarlet line appears and all my worries and anxieties disappear. I'm relaxed. “I'm fine” I say.. but I know I'm not fine.